Love me, love me not. NOT!

I remember when I was a teenage girl, the first time I ever fell in love was at the age of 13. That's the age I first dated a boy of my likings and let my emotions run wild. During my teenage years, I could just fall in love with any guy I like ( of course if the chemistry between two person exist) and disregard the pros and cons of relationship. Just as long as I like him and he likes me too, we'll date. During this phase, I have never encounter myself having a relationship for more than 6 months. Perhaps that's because I let myself in too much of my blinded feelings and the hormones of raging teenage girl running in me. I myself could not exactly count how many relationships I've had since I was thirteen. Heck! I can't even remember some of the names of the boys I dated. Maybe I shouldn't even call them "relationship", they are just mere puppy love or teenage love I call them nowadays.


I was thinking, now that I'm more matured and grown up into a fine young woman, is it okay to let my feelings and my hormones control myself? In this case, does the brain function better than the emotions? I can't really answer that well because I myself sometimes find that my emotions gets the better out of me. When the brain prove to be non-existant in my love life. When I get myself involved in this scenario, I brain-fuck myself to believe that he's truly the person that I love and I want to spend my life with. Well truth be told that when you are thinking with your brain, with your utmost logical thinking, you know that there's no such thing as true love and that the only thing that's true about love is to give and take. You won't know whether you'll spend your life with him, you won't know your love life will have fairy tale endings, all it takes is to take everyday slowly, step by step and improve as you go.In my experience, in all my serious relationships that I've had, I've tried all of said ideas but sometimes things are not perfect. When all else fail, it means that:
1. You suck
2. He sucks, or
3. both of you are two incompatible souls

Now if that happens. Is it because of the emotions or is it because the brain is doing too much of thinking,being too rational thus controlling too much of the emotions? Is it blind love or puppy love or teenage love haunting your now more matured life? Once again?

I've been in and out love. I'm attracted to a certain group of men. I've tried dating men out of my preferred group of men. What is the ideal man for you?It's always when you thought that this man have what the other man don't and the other man have what the other one don't that you majorly brain-fuck yourself. I won't deny that sometimes I have all these thought running through my head but I try to bring myself to reality and say " hey! every single soul in this world ain't perfect, they have flaws." So in this case is it emotions over logic or logic over emotions? Is it because you are so blindly in love you accept all his flaws OR is it because you are thinking logically that you have to understand that people are just not perfect?

Well, if only we have all the answers to life. Now I want to confirm that I just succesfully brain-fuck myself. :)